Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Our family feels it is appropriate at this time to thank everyone for the many thoughts prayers, acts of kindness and tears shed for our sweet daughter. I suppose at this point we can say that her cancer is not present in her body. She does have some abnormalities at her cancer site and 4 enlarged lymph nodes, but for now they are thinking it is scare tissue. We feel so blessed. Our path continues with consistent blood draws, scans and check ups to make sure that her cancer stays at bay. As I have reflected over the last 9 months my heart is full of emotion. I can honestly say that this has been the most difficult thing I have ever had to go through. I know that in this life we all have our challenges, and even as difficult as this has been I wouldn't trade my trials for anyone else! I truly believe that we are faced with specific trials for specific reasons. In the beginning, before the diagnosis was given to us I was praying and praying that there would be nothing wrong with her. I really thought that I couldn't handle anything major coming into our lives at the time. Now I don't believe that my prayers were completely for not, but I do believe that my Heavenly Father had a bigger plan for my husband and me, our daughter and our family. After this experience I know that I have learned things that I couldn't have learned without an experience similar to this. I am so much stronger than I ever knew. I am more knowledgeable in terms of medical procedures, language and can say that I quickly became a professional at broviac line care and giving shots. My resolve to help others in their times of need has been strengthen. My testimony in my Savior Jesus Christ and in my Heavenly Father has grown tremendously. Even in the darkest hardest times I was lifted up and given strength and comfort that were not from any earthly power, but were from a higher power. My family has been brought closer, I have a renewed compassion for my children and the difficulties associated with growing up, learning and changing. My relationship with my husband has been taken to a new level. I love him so much and through this process have seen a side to him and to me that we never new existed. We have learned better communication with one another, we have learned how to listen to one another and to buoy each other up when we are sinking from the weight of our trials. We learned to turn to our Savior to carry us when we have done all that we can. We have been touched by the love and support of others, even people we barely know and those we don't know at all. We have had a shift in our perspective. Instead of focusing on the daily monotony of tasks to be done, our focus is on an eternal perspective. There are so many things that seem so important now and when we look at the whole picture we realize that what is important is not the things that come and go in this life, but the things that remain with us forever. I have learned to "dance in the rain". When life comes at you you're given a choice, that choice is to moan and complain or to look for the good that is somewhere within all things (even as little as it may be at times). I know that when we are able to focus on the blessings we have, the love that we share, the small steps in progression we can be lifted up even in the toughest of times. I know our unfamiliar path has not come to an end, but it has taken a small turn and as we continue down this path with many unknowns in the future I know one thing for sure....We are not in this alone. Our daughter, our children and my husband and I will always have the comfort of the Spirit with us and the strength and love of our Savior Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father!