Sunday, December 21, 2008

It Is What It Is


We made it to the hospital. Our little girl didn't end up having a fever with her cold, so they let us in a few days early so that we should be home for Christmas.... YEA!!!! This is our Fourth Chemo round and our last one in this group of treatments. Mid January we will come back up to do her rescanning and see how her tumor has responded to her chemotherapy. We will then have a new plan for the next couple of months (hopefully her new treatment will include regular check-ups and lab work and not more chemotherapy.....but we will see). We will have to post again to let you know how she responds to her chemo drugs this time.
So, my sister-in law called me the other day to see how we were all doing. After I was done telling her that we were doing fine she said "How come you have to be so tough all of the time?". This is for all of you that aren't with us at night after our children have gone to bed, or at church, or when we are alone driving in the car. We have our breakdowns just like everyone does when going through something like this. This has been by far the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my life time. I have found the best way for me to deal with the stresses and pressures put on me during this time is to focus on the positive things happening during this trial. It seems when I focus on the difficulties of cancer being apart of our lives that I am brought down to a low that is very difficult for me to come out of on my own. So for me to deal with this situation I have found that if I think and dwell on the positives then I truly feel good with the way things are turning out and progressing with her cancer and its effects on our whole family. I have said this before, that her tumor/cancer "is what it is" and no matter how much I cry (and I do occasionally) and no matter how much I wish this wasn't happening and no matter how much I want it all to just go away, nothing is going to change where we are right now. I have a daughter with a cancerous tumor. I have three other children that are at home suffering in their own way with the changes that have been brought into their lives. I have a wonderful marriage with a husband that struggles occasionally with what we are facing, just like I do. What keeps us going and doing the things we need to is the acceptance of our circumstances, our faith in our Heavenly Father's watchful and caring hand, and our positive outlook on all that is given to us. We are so grateful to everyone that has been supporting us through this unfamiliar path we are on. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

10 comments:

Jennifer said...

You say it so well. I feel this way about worry. I'm tempted to worry ALL the time, but no amount of worry cures the cancer. It just makes me more disconnected from my children. Getting wrapped up in fear, anxiety, uncertainty doesn't help my son get well or get the dinner ready or help me sleep at night. It just takes more of the good out of my life.

Kudos to you for your optimism and your example. I know it isn't fun to be strong all the time, especially when you don't feel particularly strong. But it's also exhausting to me an emotional basket case. The whole thing is just hard.

One thing I've found difficult is that I feel that most people WANT me to reassure them that everything is okay and my son is getting all better. I can't promise them that anymore than I can promise my son that. It's what we hope for. It's the optimistic scenerio that we hold on too. But God hasn't made me that kind of promise. And I'm choosing to trust Him.

I hope your daughter continues to do well, so you can be all together in your home. Hospital stays are such a drag!!!

Doug and Carol Ann said...

Glad you made it to the hospital and are able to start treatments. We know your little kids are being taken care of by some "super surrogate" grandmas!! Your thoughts are so true, and negative feelings take so much of our energy. Continue to keep the faith, and we continue to pray and support you. Love, Gr & Gr R

Angela Baird said...

We'll be praying that her treatment and recovery will go smoothly so that you can enjoy Christmas at home with your family!

Kent Ottley said...

The High Priest Group prayed for your family yesterday! Our hearts hurt for you! Thank you for your posts, you have great strength. We cry alot but we are hopeful that all will be better in time. Come home for Christmas.

Amy Marble said...

You guys are great examples! I'm sure there are breakdowns, but I'm so impressed with your positive attitudes. We will keep you in our prayers. I'm so glad that you are able to start this treatment early so that you can be home for Christmas. Hope you have a great holiday with your whole family in your own home!

akelly said...

What do I know but I think if you just dwelled on the negatives that are happening, your children would do the same. There is something very interesting about cancer...your attitude makes a huge difference. I watched my mom's positive attitude and she is doing amazingly well. I'm not saying that bad things won't happen, they still do but it is the outlook that makes the bad things become blessings. But like I said, what do I know.

Huish Family said...

Amen, sister! We hope all continues to go well for your lil' gal. And what touching pictures from your previous post- she is just adorable! May your family enjoy a wonderful and special Christmas day...

Love, The Huish's
www.sadiehuish.blogspot.com

okerlund family said...

You really are amazing!! I do hope that her treatments so smoothly this time so that you can be in your cozy home for the holidays with each one of your little ones surrounding you. I've heard how much the surrogate grandmas are enjoying their stay, and you might have to boot those two out--just kidding. It is so great to have the family, friend, & community support and prayers that you do. Trials like this really do make us ponder about all the positive things that we have going on for us, and really makes us see the good in people in a completely different way than we have seen before. Merry Christmas to each one of you. We wish you the best in health and happiness. Love, the okerlunds

Richard & Teona said...

Mike and Sarah, I hope you don't mind that I read your blog from Maridee's blog. I want you to know that you and your sweet family are in our thoughts and prayers as well. You are such positive people with such testimonies and faith. Thank-you for sharing your feeling with all of us. We pray that things will go well and you will be able to be home for Christmas and be able to enjoy your family during this special time of year. We love you, Merry Christmas.
Love, Teona and Richard

Tara said...

You are amazing! I hope and pray that its the most amazing Christmas ever! We love you all.